The Host

i hate this book so much and i really need to rant about it.

okay here's the thing: this story idea AS AN IDEA is good and interesting and cool, but stephanie meyer absolutely butchers it with horribly cliche romantic lines and scenes, boring and stagnant characters, and overall awful technique.

the first thing i want to attack her about (yes, attack. i'm sorry but I”M SO MAD I WASTED THREE DAYS OF READING LIFE ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT) is the pacing and actual plot of the book. she kept on making these problems (melanie being in wanderer's head (i will not call her wanda), jared not “liking” wanderer, etc) and then resolving them within like, a chapter, and then presenting another problem right after. okay, example #1: <> all of this happens literally in the span of like two or three chapters. by this point, what is the point of any conflict when i know it will be fine and result in literally 0 consequences?

okay, now let me jump down every single character's fucking throat about their dumb ass shit.
wanderer: she started out as being actually interesting and (kind of) dynamic, but by the end was literally bella swan #2. so boring and emotionless and had no personality than the fact that she wanted to die for everyone all the time.
melanie: who even is she? never met her. so boring, contributed nothing to the story with her voice. the idea that her character existed functioned more than she did. and her memories were always so fucking cringy. i should've been rooting for her, but the whole time, i just didn't care about her so much i wanted wanderer to just kill her voice somehow already.
jared: also don't know him, don't care about him. wanderer's “feelings” for him were incessant and annoying, as was his constant moodiness (hello edward #2 nice to meet you)
ian: i actually really liked him and thought he was really sweet and funny UNTIL he became a love interest. then that's all he was and he was super cringy and weird and creepy and territorial (Jacob Black 2? hi go sit with the other two)

the romance (grab some popcorn friends here we fucking go)
ALL HAIL STEPHANIE MEYER THE QUEEN OF CRINGY AND FAILED LOVE TRIANGLES
would she just stop writing romance? please? just stop. i hate when she talks about sex; no one talks like that omg. every single time characters make out or someone tries to talk about love, it's the cringefest of the fucking century. I would honestly be happier if her characters never talked and just made out all the time because even that would be more romantic than the torture she puts me through as I try and read her stiff, creepy, angsty dialogue. I seriously want to give my eyes out reading it.

also, can we can Stephanie Meyer from writing sci-fi? all she does with it is water it down so she can force feed it to teenage girls. she decided to write about aliens, and then made them the mood so boring creatures in the fucking universe. they literally do nothing, oh my god, they aren't even student to be scared of. on all their trips out to get supplies, when she would try and make me nervous, I didn't give a shit, partially because of the resolution thing from earlier but also because, does she really intense me to be scared of aliens who are basically Canadians? I'm honestly a little offended.

I could go on but I'm getting really angry