The Rules Do Not Apply

Where do I begin to comment on this memoir? I actually can't believe that I only gave it three stars. I think this is because I have just come off of a run of reading a handful of phenomenal memoirs in a row, so this one just fell flat for me. I can definitely see the appeal that it will have commercially though. With its bright orange and pink cover, it is sure to stand out; plus, there is something for everyone (okay, mostly females) in this read. It is so honest... so raw... and eventually, so heartbreaking. It really reminded me of Camilla Gibb's “This is Happy” because there wasn't a lot of hope in it; it didn't end happily, but it did end with some realizations and that was enough.

Ariel Levy is a paradox – she wants one thing but is constantly pulled to another - from motherhood and independence to gay marriage and adultery, she fluctuates between “having” and “longing for” in so many ways. Yes, she is successful writer with great ambitions but she is also insanely human and prone to grave errors in judgement – as we all are. Throughout the three parts of her book that I would categorize as: Hoping and Striving (career-wise and relationships), Achieving (pregnancy), Falling Apart (losing her dreams and starting over) she introduces the reader to the people in her life. These individuals have issues of their own that she explores with a level of depth and compassion. In the end, Levy showcases that everybody cannot have everything and that even if we plan out our lives, our lives sometimes have other plans for us. Sure, we can ask ourselves many questions throughout our time on earth and we can try so hard to figure out the answers and to create meaning, yet sometimes all we have left is to simply surrender to what is.

Most women from their late teens through old age will embrace this book. They will see pieces of themselves reflected in Levy and, if for some reason they do not, their hearts will be grow with more compassion because of the struggles that bind us all together.