The Rules of Love

Part of the worldwide bestselling 'Rules' series. Over 2 million 'Rules' books sold worldwide and translated into 22 languages. Love matters. Whether it's the romantic kind or the emotional bond between you and family or friends. Indeed latest research suggests that those who love and are loved are significantly more likely to be alive in 10 years time than those without love in their lives. Love makes us happy, and the happier we are, the longer it seems we tend to live. But it isn't always easy to love and be loved. Love is also complicated. Relationships are invariably complex and they need to be attended to, nurtured, worked at, and invested in. It's all too easy to neglect relationships - often without realising it - and this benign neglect leaves you one day wondering why this special relationship has crumbled, unravelled, waned or lost its sparkle. Forming good relationships isn't easy either. Same sex relationships can be tricky enough (mothers and daughters, brothers and brothers) but when it's the opposite sex - especially boyfriend/girlfriend) you have the added complication that the other person is wired completely differently and may see things in completely different ways. If you study people who are so good at relationships you discover it's not about their personality or gender or how self sacrificing they are. Those who are great in all relationships usually do have to work at it - the secret is that they know exactly where to put their efforts. They know The Rules of Love. In this book these Rules are revealed, so you too can benefit from the simple principles of forming and sustaining strong, enduring and ultimately, life enhancing relationships. Contents Introduction Rules for Finding Love 1. Be yourself 2. Get over it before you get on with it 3. You won't be happy with a partner until you can be happy on your own 4. You'll know them when you meet them 5. Choose someone who makes you laugh 6. Being less than a hundred percent attractive is a great filter 7. Don't keep making the same mistakes 8. Certain people are off limits (you know who they are) 9. You can't change people 10. Relationships aren't about sex 11. Get to know someone through all the seasons before making any major decisions 12. Don't stay with someone who doesn't care 13. If you can't trust them, you haven't got a relationship 14. Be honest (while you still have the chance) 15. Don't play games 16. Don't tar new partners with old brushes 17. Check you both have the same shared goals 18. You can't make someone love you 19. Be cruel to be kind Relationship Rules 20. Be nice 21. Be together because you want to, not because you need to 22. Allow your partner the space to be themselves 23. Look to your own faults 24. Be honourable 25. Put each other first 26. Recognize the signs 27. Be a hero - or a heroine 28. Accept the differences, embrace what you have in common 29. Don't belittle your partner 30. You want to do what? 31. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath 32. Be the first to say sorry 33. Houston, we have a problem 34. Don't put them on a pedestal and expect them to stay there 35. Know when to listen and when to act 36. Never stop trying to be attractive 37. If you can say something nice, do 38. Don't try to be their parent 39. Be part of their life 40. If little things annoy you, say so - with humour 41. Go that extra step in trying to please them 42. Make sure your partner is always pleased to see you 43. Don't dump responsibility on your partner 44. Let them know if you don't like their friends 45. Jealousy is your stuff, not theirs 46. Your partner is more important than your kids 47. Make time for romance 48. Have a passion for your life together 49. Share the workload 50. Trust the other one to do the job 51. Don't be a nag 52. Make sure your love making is making love 53. Don't control them 54. Listen to what they're not saying 55. Most everyday arguments are about something else 56. Respect privacy 57. Treat your partner better than your best friend 58. Don't be offended if they want some space 59. Men like flowers too 60. Keep your finances separate 61. Contentment is a high aim 62. Be generous to each other financially 63. You make a choice every day 64. Don't be a martyr 65. You don't both have to have the same rules 66. Put yourself in their shoes 67. In-laws are part of the package 68. Keep talking Rules for Parting 69. Listen to your own internal voice 70. Recognize that it takes two 71. Keep the moral high ground 72. Don't keep raking it over 73. Leave the kids out of it Family Rules 74. Don't blame your parents 75. Don't let your parents control your feelings 76. Your children come before you 77. Nothing is worth falling out over 78. Treat them the way you believe is right, no matter how they treat you 79. Don't pressurize your family just because you can 80. Never be too busy for loved ones 81. Your children need to fall out with you to leave home 82. They don't have to be the same as you 83. There's always stuff with siblings 84. Let go of your role Friendship Rules 85. There are no rules 86. Your best friend was once a stranger 87. Only have people in your life who, on balance, make it better not worse 88. If you're going to be a friend, be a good friend 89. Never give advice 90. Find friends who love the truth 91. Never lend money unless you're prepared to write it off 92. If you don't like their partner, tough 93. When one finger points forwards, three point back 94. Friendships change 95. Know when to let go 96. Bitterness helps no one Rules for Everyone 97. Guilt is a selfish emotion 98. Love equals time 99. The more you put out, the more you get back 100. Other people are where it's at