The Way I Used to Be

Oh my heart!!! The end of the this book is so utterly heart breaking and powerful, I knew it was going to be a tough read with the subject matter but I did not expect just how moved I would be by this.

This follows Eden who was raped by her brother's best friend when she was 14. The book follows her throughout the rest of that year and the following 3 years of her school life. We see how this event affects her, changes her, moulds her into someone else.

This story is raw and emotional and disturbing, it's also incredibly frustrating to read because you just want her to speak up but you can see why she can't. You watch her descend into acting out, sleeping with people to hide the pain, drinking and drugs, but you just want her to be okay!

One thing I especially loved was the characters, I loved Eden's friends and her family (even when they were giving her shit) - loved knowing her support system would be there when she was ready to let them in and following her through that journey.

And also, Josh. I love Josh. I'm so salty that they didn't end up together in the end, but on the other hand I also like that she didn't need him to “save” her and “mend” her. She knows she has to do that herself.