Unsafe Words: Queering Consent in the #MeToo Era

Unsafe Words is an anthology of essays surrounding queer people and what consent can be to them. Looking at #MeToo and the white heteropatriarchal focus that it has been given since it went viral in 2017, Unsafe Words showcases a bevy of different viewpoints on how queer people consent. For a long time people have weighed in what does and doesn't constitute consent, but this anthology explores how one size does not fit all. Consent, and what that looks like, can depend on age, race, sexuality, gender, kinks, and the social culture that a person is involved in.

Some contributors provide their personal experiences with consent and what it looks like for them, whereas others provide more factual accounts of consent, referencing other people to back up their ideas. For some people, consent may not be verbal and can be inferred through body language, for others, they have had their boundaries disregarded even when being vocal and have had to alter how to show their consent or lack of to their sexual partners.

I preferred the more personal entries to this anthology and appreciated the different viewpoints. It can be hard to rate an anthology, especially one that discusses ideas which challenge my personal thoughts and opinions, but I enjoyed that it did make me slightly uncomfortable and think differently. It's likely one of the reasons why it was written and is an important read because of that. The mix of different formats, from more factual essays to personal recounts, to interviews, to photo essays was interesting and added to how different people approach such a complex subject. Some contributions I enjoyed more than others, but I can appreciate the merit and necessity for all of them.

I also love how Unsafe Words looked at consent through a queer lens, as usually when consent is discussed it is in how a (cis) woman can say no to a (cis) man and protect herself. Hopefully in the future there will be better sex education and advocating for approaching queer encounters and consent.