Who We Are in Real Life

Cross-posted to Netgalley

I want to give a big thank you to Netgalley and the publisher (Groundwood Books) for this free ARC in exchange for my honest opinion. (And oh boy is this opinion honest and honestly mine.)

I have so much to say about this book. I have over three pages of notes on Word - at least half of it covering the same subject: the romance.

Okay, first, what worked for me. The gaming. That's why I was interested in this book. And it is lovely. The sections of novelizing their campaign were well written, polished and descriptive. The irl gaming talk and segments were obviously drawing on the author's own enthusiasm and experience. If I could have stayed here, the book would have been four stars for me.

But, the ‘real life' I did not find as polished or as well written, and then the drama started and just grew and grew until it took over the whole story.

This book deals with sexual assault, bullying, death threats, threats of suicide, cheating, abusive relationships, homophobia, ect. It all got to be just too much for me.

Then came the tent-peg romance. Darcy and Art. Our co-leads.

I did not like or support their relationship. I could have, but there were events that - due to Netgalley's spoiler policy - I will not get into here. Let's just say Darcy's actions were waved away without her having to take any responsibility for them. There were extenuating circumstances, but that did not negate her poor choices - and I did not like the way the book seemed to push the idea that she made no mistakes and did nothing wrong.

All in all, I am literally heartbroken that this book didn't turn out better for me.


There be light relationship spoilers beyond this point


Look, I get that Darcy was in a bad situation, that James was abusive. I called it abuse long before this book called it abuse. But that doesn't mean she gets a free pass on her actions! This book is trying to make her behavior - cheating on James/Art, never telling Art that she was still with James because she was afraid to break it off, only talking to Art after the truth comes out when SHE wants something - okay. And it's not okay!She made poor choices and I don't like how this book seems to want her actions - not even forgiven - but just ignored like what she did was totally not a problem and perfectly fine and absolutely no consequences for her actions - when she did things that were bad.Art tells her that 'you're not responsible for the way James treated you. Or the way I treated you, for that matter. You're not to blame, Darcy.' and while this is true, she is responsible for her actions. She made poor choices and she should be allowed to at least take responsibility for her actions. She wasn't allowed to and the narration of the book basically made it sound like she didn't need to.(Side note: No, Darcy never actually apologizes, even though everyone says she did. She said she 'needed to apologize' Art says 'you're forgiven' and they move on. There is a difference between saying 'I need to say I'm sorry' and saying 'I am sorry'. Even if Art is young and wants his girlfriend back and doesn't think there's a difference.)