You, Me & Her

Nate is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who just wants to love and be loved in return. To belong without ownership. No monogamy or jealousy in his game. At 26 he's like a great big puppy, without an ounce of guile or a mean bone in his body. I loved him. The problem is how society at large perceives people who are into open relationships: “unfaithful, disloyal, unloving, sex fiends” who at best can't make up their minds or at worst are manipulators. In Nate's case nothing can be further from the truth.

I really enjoyed this honest and somewhat hopeful portrayal of what an open & poly relationship can be like when the parties are coming from a place of honesty, respect, and love. It's like a glimpse of Utopia for those who like to share and share alike.

Apparently Nate and some of the other characters have appeared in previous books, which I'll probably check out, but I can't say it's necessary to have read them to enjoy this one. So what's the story?

Nate lives somewhere not-NYC, I want to say Connecticut or NJ?, works construction for his uncle's company, and is a cast member at CENTRAL PLAYHOUSE, a local community theater. He's also considered something of a local Lothario, except he's not. He just has room in his affections for more than one person at a time. Nate believes in and practices free love. He cares deeply for the well being and satisfaction of his partners, who until now have all been female. He has never thought of himself as other than heterosexual but things are about to change.

During the audition and rehearsals for a local production of Othello he meets and befriends Joshua, who pretty much immediately becomes a protector and a source of comfort when Nate is feeling unsure or low. There's a spark. Even though at first Nate only recognizes it as friendship we, the readers, see the undercurrents pulling him in further. The initial lure is Joshua's wife Sherry, a singer, a free spirit, and all around fun person. Nate starts coming around mostly to “sleep” with Sherry, with Joshua's approval, but he stays because he feels at home. Joshua cares for him by cooking breakfast or just listening to him. Joshua makes no secret of wanting Nate but respects his assertions of being heterosexual.

Nate's journey from being exclusively heterosexual to becoming curious to falling for Sherry AND Joshua is done in such an organic and seamless way that I believed every word. Nate is bisexual. He'd just never thought about it. He'd settled for the standard assumption of heterosexuality. This doesn't mean that he no longer likes women. He does. [If you don't like vaginas this may not be a book for you.] I liked that the author shows how each partner in this triad satisfies a different need for the others: Sherry is the bubbly fun, Nate is the endlessly curious, affectionate, and attention loving puppy dog, and Joshua is the caretaker and glue that keeps them all afloat. Did I mention that I love Joshua? I do. Big time. Nothing could be better than being sheltered by his loving care. Also he's a poet.

The rest of the book is populated by Nate's family, friends, and colleagues from the theater. At first not all of them are supportive or understand. In fact quite a few of his previous sexual partners acted like he'd cheated on them or deceived them. It's a bit disingenuous on their part given that Nate practically has a brand on himself saying no-monogamy. One of them is Deb. Nate's been having an on/off sexual relationship with her for four years! Why? Deb insist on keeping it a secret. She barely acknowledges him in public. It turns out Deb belongs to the monogamy club, which is fine. However she insists that Nate just hasn't found the “right person”, which of course is her. She refuses to be public with their relationship unless Nate promises exclusivity, which he won't. She's pretty horrid to Nate, Joshua, and her friends in general. Her behaviour is somewhat excused & pinned on bad family history and alcoholism, but in vino veritas. To me she was just part of the ubiquitous moral police who will always look with suspicion on those who opt for another road. Ugh!

Thankfully I can say that Nate, Joshua, and Sherry reach a “work-in-progress” HEA that works for them and worked for me as reader.

I'd recommend this to anyone. Even if you're not a sharer Tanya Chris beautifully shows how a relationship like this can work for those who do want to go with “more is more”. How it's not cheating if you're all in agreement about what you want. How the fact of sleeping or having sex with others doesn't negate your love, loyalty, and faithfulness to your partner(s). Maybe it's not for you but you can certainly root and be happy for those choose it.