Aleh Mendoza

 I just finished listening to this audiobook, and the author did an outstanding job narrating it herself, and the story itself felt very raw and realistic, I can hear X and the author at the same time, as a latina myself  I can understand the struggles she faces, how religion is indoctrinated to us at such young age, how we're forced to believe and teached to follow the commandments even if we don't really grasp the meaning behind them. 

 “When I'm told to have faith in the father, the son, in men – and men are the first ones to make me feel so small.”

I lost the interest very quickly but not because it's a bad book, it's good and it was gifted for me for someone I love dearly but now I'm close to being 30 than 20 so some things weren't for me. I'll try to give it a second chance when I feel like it but at the moment there are other books I rather read.

Before I get into a deep explanation of why I didn't like it, I just have to say I love reading LGBTQ+ books, and I'm not shy to admit I have read my fair share of YA books and sometimes we just can't expect so much of it, and I'm sure I'm not the audience aimed since now in mid twenties but I saw a review who claimed it was the perfect mix between RWRB and Carry on so obviously I blindly trust them and bought it, I did have high Expectations maybe if I didn't saw that review that hyped me up I would have enjoyed it more 😥 there were moments where I was like okay it might be better if I keep on reading, but then I was almost at the end and nothing was happening, there was a major plot hole with the whole issue with Tim's dad like it was never resolved at all  why ever addressed it in the first place 🤦🏻‍♀️ characters lacked deep personalities, no plot, you could tell it was a drarry or snowbaz rip off, I pay for a bad written fan fiction, when I could easily read better one's for free on ao3. 

I feel bad, but I rather be honest, it was not worth it and I wasted time where I could have read anything else. 

Aaaa I'm so sad now that it's over, I cannot wait till I have in my hands next book I know for sure it's going to be amazing. This one is one of the most fun books I've read in a while. Even though the ending wrecked me 🥲💔 and probably I'm going to need time to recover from it. I absolutely loved it and I would highly recommend the book to everyone I know. 

probably I'll edit this review later, but it's late now so I'll just leave it

I have mixed feelings about this book while it was extremely deep and personal part of the author, but I still felt it lacked more depth, I understand this is just part of her transcripts of her sesions with her phsychiatric but somehow I find the whole thing extremely boring, while they were snips of moments were I could relate to her, there were other where I was just staring into nothing and thinking huh this is not contributing anything meaningful into my life. but I think this was only a me problem because of the format of the book.

However, I have to give her credit for not shying away from tackling difficult subjects, such as mental health and societal expectations from South Koreans, with honesty and vulnerability. Yet, even in the darkest moments, there is a thread of hope and resilience that runs through her writing.