mikayla
sometimes, out of nowhere, i'll have a really horrible passing thought. i'll think โwhat's the worst thing i could possibly do right now in this situation.โ it's a weird moment, but then it passes. i stamp it down. jillian is like of all of those thoughts came to life and because fully formed characters. at points it felt like every character was made up of the worst versions of myself. i loved it!
as a big fan of the ~alienated women in their 20s~ subgenre, this hit all the right notes for me. also as someone who has had a fair share of shitty office jobs, this resonated with me in an awfully uncomfortable way. our protagonist, millie, is an overthinker, overqualified, thoughtful but lazy where it counts in corporate culture. i really enjoyed getting to hear from the perspective of her shitty manager, karen, who seems to be grasping at some sense of control in her position as well.
i always feel slightly detached when i read romance as an adult. a little cynical, a little guarded, maybe even a little embarrassed. so maybe that's why i couldn't fully buy into this. but it was very cute! went down much easier than Beach Read, which i unfortunately had to DNF.
poppy and alex are hella likable, and their rapport is sweet. but i just didn't find myself rooting for their romance once it fell into familiar territory. however, i think this book shines when it's describing things other than romance, like traveling, tourism, and what home means. which makes this an unironically great vacation read! i'm glad i saved it for a trip, because i can't imagine a better place to read this than on a poolside lounge chair with a piรฑa colada in hand.
this checks a lot of my own personal boxes. commentary about not just the internet but what it's like to think in internet speak, experimental writing, and dealing with unspeakable grief.
some notes/things i particularly enjoyed:
i have drafted my own โi have eaten the blank that were in the blankโ tweet (it was about hot cheetos)
the paragraph about eating ass really got me. โno swifter way to bring down the supposed citizens of the free world than to transform them to a nation of ass-eaters!โ
multiple shoutouts to thursdays and octobers.
and one of the most painful paragraphs i've read in quite awhile: (mild spoilers ahead) โthey came home and her brother-in-law knelt down and kissed it, the square of the couch where she had lived, where she had lain among machines, where they discovered, almost too late, that they could play patty-cake with her.โ
god, some of these sentences!
โI'm an open book,โ I say, thinking of all the men who have found it illegible.
He knows when I got my first period and I know he is decent to waitstaff, and I'm not interested in sucking the cock of a stranger who has potentially made a waitress cry.
and the way the author describes the small details of a scene, like bobby pins on the countertops, the attention and observation so precise i had to set the book down for breathers.
kind of reminds me of such a fun age because they share similar aspects, but this is darker, colder, loniler. and the stakes feel higher and more serious. bravos all around.
i'm into the spooky vibes but i kinda found every character one-note. the mean girls were mean, the professors were rude and condescending. the only bit of warmth came from samantha, ava, and jonah. also very much not a fan of a character going through something, telling a trusted confidant, and then not being believed. seems like a book caroline calloway would like if she knew how to read.
