kou

TWs: Sex with a minor, drug use

4.5 rounded up; It's amazing how much attention a reader can pour into an unlikeable character's story. Alex is a 22 year-old woman who hops places after a misstep with her ‘lover' Simon. She eventually finds a way into multiple people's lives, figuring out how she can use people and manipulate them so that she can shelter with them until Simon's party on Labor Day weekend.

It was a truly gripping read, unsure how Alex was going to act and figure out things as we went along with her story. Her personality was truly manipulative, only caring about her current situation and destination. The most frustrating part for me was Jack, who's a minor ;-; all of her 'errors', only causing Jack trauma and who knows what happened after the ending. It was terribly sad. The ending..!!

The narrator did such a great job, it wrecked me ;-;

“Life is so sad. It's so sad, and yet we'll do it. We all cling to it; we all search for something to give us solace.”

4.5 I think???? Maybe.

Non-spoilers: The writing of this book is beautiful, but it has some parts that seemed unnecessary to elongate the story where it didn't really have to. Once knowing the focus characters and incidents, it's easy to skim over parts that didn't connect too much to the story. The synopsis of the book threw me off, as it is true, but the centerpiece of the story is slightly off from it, particularly regarding the friends. I was more frustrated and angry with many of the parts of the story, shocking images of all that's happened.

Spoilers: I was so angry at Jude throughout the entire book because he refused therapy, the idea of "I deserve this", and rejection of help for the majority of the book. But now with the ending, I'm not sure what to feel. How do you even feel after that? All the anger poofed after Willem's death; the most impacting moment for me was when Jude imagined himself with Willem's arms around him, the sandalwood scent on his clothes that eventually faded, desperately trying to conserve and save it in the closet. Can I think about sandalwood the same way before I read the book? Probably not. I feel that pretty much everything in this book is all unfortunate things that happen in life. It's so sad, yet we do it. It's so painful, yet we resort to dark thoughts and pain. Can we help people? Yeah. Can we try to fix someone? As much as we want to, people won't accept, won't see how much you care, won't give in. And that's reality sometimes.Edit: After some discussion in the BLC, it's understandable that Jude didn't want to accept therapy because he didn't want to expose himself and relive everything of the past. It seemed easier just to keep it in. It's still just heartbreaking that nothing would, will, and can heal someone like Jude.

3.5 rounded up; I didn't enjoy it as much as the first book but happy I finished the duology! I didn't expect August to have such character development, but I suppose that is natural in a dystopian world. I wish Kate had survived at the end and had a happy ending with August. ;-; though, she was a character I had difficulties liking

I was going to give it a 3.5 during the middle, but I love the way it ends where Ponyboy starts writing his story of *The Outsiders*, and how he has reflected, hurt, moved on, and grew. It's not a lot of growth, but he's learning to cope. I like (hate?) that this story is still relevant to the children of this generation, so it's relatable to them (but honestly these kids.. their brains ain't developed so as much as I wish a novel can change their perspective, it's not enough lol) I'm so glad Darry is there for Ponyboy and Sodapop. I can imagine how different they would be if they didn't have Darry to be their parent and take care of them. so 4:star: