zilver
more 3.5, really a nice addition to the previous books, though it didn???t draw me in quite as much - maybe because of the more dispersed narrative? i liked all the characters but didn???t feel as much drive in myself to follow where they were going. but even so i still love becky chambers??? vision of space so much!
third read: the last chapters are really just like [tears all the way down] but in the best way
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second read: i cannot stress enough how much this book means to me i don???t think i???ll ever stop thinking about it
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first read: wow
???
“Hell is the absence of people you long for.”
I am just so. Stunned by the beauty of this book. It's extremely difficult to describe, as I found when I tried to explain to my dad what it was about and what exactly made it so special.
I think the best I can do is say something about the feeling it gave me while reading it. The beauty of this book lies in its quietness. Like I wrote in my update, it made me feel like everything is connected in the least earthshaking way possible. Meaning that while this is a book that revolves around intertwining story lines, none of it felt like it meant something in a bigger sense. There was no big plot, no larger-than-life destinies. And yet everything felt meaningful.
It made me feel quiet and settled. I felt like I could make a home in this book despite it not being very long. I felt like I did make a home in this book. It's hard to explain. I guess just read it. It's the first apocalypse story I've absolutely loved in... years, probably (and there's no zombies!!! wow !!!1)
tl;dr just read this book please you deserve to read it and it deserves to be read
2.5 - 3
I really wanted to love this one. From what I read about it beforehand it sounded like I Hope You???re Listening would be a novel in the same vein - a thriller/mystery story interspersed with podcast transcriptions weaving together into a cohesive, multi-layered story.
When she was seven, Dee Skinner and her best friend, Sibby, got captured while they were playing out in the woods. Sibby was taken. Dee was left behind. At 17, she carries the survivor???s guilt with her constantly. As a way of manifesting that energy into something useful, she???s started a podcast through which she anonymously highlights missing person cases and, sometimes, with the help of her listeners, helps solve them. She looks into all sorts of cases, but not Sibby???s. Until another young girl gets taken from the house Dee used to live in, and suddenly Dee can???t ignore her past anymore.
There was a lot of potential in this story and this novel, especially in terms of the thriller/mystery aspects. As the story picked up pace in the last third of the book, I did feel myself inching closer to the edge of my seat, curious and anxious for Dee. She???s a good protagonist, coping with complicated feelings about her trauma, with a conviction and perseverance I???m in awe of. And yet, I also felt this novel falls into a lot of ???YA traps???, not only in terms of the writing, which is especially juvenile at the start, but in the characterisation especially, and the narrative doesn???t really do the work of earning that. There???s the ex-friend turned mean girl (who actually turns out to not be mean at all in the end, but the shift from the start of the book to a sudden understanding between the girls is startling), the supportive best friend (who turns out to Actually Also Be Going Through His Own Things), the protective parents (who we basically don???t hear from), etc. A lot of it remains very flat, only alluding to a depth we???re never actually shown.
And this is a problem I had with more parts of the novel, also in terms of storytelling. There are a number of allusions to police screwing up Sibby???s case when she went missing, but never any more info than that. The side plot that Dee explores through her podcast felt like a very separate thing from the rest of the novel, and didn???t really integrate well. When you do choose to use this dual narrative, I think both narratives need to enhance each other, and I don???t think this did. It felt more like I was being told the same thing twice but in a slightly different form. I don???t want to compare this book to Sadie too much, because obviously they???re separate, but I think that???s a book that did this very well. Also - Dee???s podcast. It was really unclear to me why it got so popular so suddenly, and it didn???t become clear to me from what we were reading. As an avid podcast listener myself, it lacked a degree of realism and research that really took me out of the story.
Same goes with Dee???s relationship with Sarah. I loved that there was at no point an ???explanation??? for Dee being queer. It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, but in so many books you???ll find a ???I???d never really been interested in boys???-esque explanation that is completely unnecessary and often very cringy. Dee simply likes Sarah, and her friend can tease her, and her parents can be happy for her, without it ever being a big deal or a point of discussion. Breath of fresh air! And still??? I really wish we could???ve seen a bit more of their relationship develop.
I think that???s maybe my main problem with this book in the end - it???s trying to be too many things, all of which would???ve been so interesting and cool on their own, or a couple combined, but all of them together it???s too much, and nothing really gets enough space to breathe. Resolutions are too easy, supposedly logical even though they???re just really not. Character arcs are non-existent. Themes are rushed. Really bummed that this one wasn???t what I was hoping it could be :/
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.
Orion Carloto???s ???Film for Her??? is a winding path through a nostalgia that does not belong to you, though maybe at the end of this book it will feel like it does. A collage, mixture of poetry, prose, and pictures, ???Film for Her??? guides us through the years of Carloto???s early adulthood, following her across the country and the world as she discovers both new places and herself, and herself in those new places. How lonely and invigorating living alone in a foreign city can be.
???I???ve sewn my eyes shut
and relived visions of you
through many passing moons???
The subject matter of the poems sways from (lost) love to (as she calls it herself) growing pains to false and new starts. Not all poems resonated with me, and I think that was partly to do with the subject matter. It didn???t always feel like it could break loose from the ???okay/good??? level to something new and burrowing. I did really feel like the different parts of her life that Carloto describes and goes through actually felt different while reading. As if she is maturing and growing not only within the narration but also as she is writing. This works very well to enhance the feeling that periods in her life come and go as you read.
???In the darkness
I can feel your heart beating
on the corners of my shoulder blades,
and I know that there???s love in there
both pure and divine.???
I think the strength of this book is really the collaboration of words and photographs that together craft a tangible nostalgic atmosphere, one that surrounded me fully as I made my way through. This made the book stand out beyond ???just??? being a book of poetry about someone???s life. The 35mm film in combination with Carloto???s sense of framing and movement as she photographs carries something magical that really radiated through the rest of the pages as well.
???I???ve poured this raddled body
into more people than I can count.
Crossing off tally marks
on the backs of necks
creating strangers
out of lovers.???
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I have a huge weakness for post-apocalyptic stories and graphic novels so this one sounded right up my alley. “Odessa” tells the story of 18-year-old Ginny, who's living in a world post-enormous earthquake that ruined the World As She Knew It (or, at least, part of it, as we later find out). She's living with her two younger brothers and her dad, scavenging sites in order to get enough stuff to trade for food. Her mother has left them - or that's the thought until Ginny receives a letter from her mum and decides to set out and try to find her.
I'm at odds about whether I liked the style of this one. I don't think the art itself was entirely my thing - though I did really appreciate the land- and cityscapes. The way people think the world will change and overgrow when humans (have to) stop being involved fascinates me. I did like the use of colour - simple yet really effective.
The sibling dynamics between Ginny, Wes & Harry were great. Very accurate and funny and endearing to see. To see Ginny shift back into more of a sister-role as they go on the road, after having felt like she needed to be their mum at home.
I will say I think the story and the storytelling left me a bit unsatisfied. I didn't feel like I had a great grasp of the characters, and at times they came off a bit flat because I felt like there wasn't a lot of space to really get to know them besides their sort of core-characteristics, which we get to know pretty early on. I'd have liked to see more about their past, or get to know and understand the world they live in currently a bit better. A lot of that was left a bit too vague and distant for my liking, making it difficult to really connect.
I'm curious what the next part will bring, though, and I'm sure I'll get answers to some of my questions when that comes around!
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!
3.5!
I think there???s a collection of love stories at the core of this one. Love of parents for children, of people for purpose, of human for light. I liked the way Hiram and Mara???s ???before???s were interwoven with Joshua and Claire???s ???After???, how they both had a distinctive colour scheme and feeling to them - also in line with the event that separates their before and after, that is? the disappearance of the sun.
I did feel like I missed some depth to the characters, particularly to Claire. Besides her loyalty and sense of justice, I feel like we know very little about her, and I wanted to know more. In addition I found the focus on women bearing children, and how prevalent and automatic that felt as a logical course of action a bit much, especially since it felt like that notion really just existed without the women in question having much of a different purpose besides supporting the men they love. I think that in combination with a world that felt at times pleasantly ungraspable and at times confusingly distant left me feeling a little unsatisfied with the story in the end.
And of course I have to point out the artwork, which is absolutely gorgeous. I love the style, the fluidity of it, the colours, the sense it gave you of the space this story exists within, which is both similar and very different from our world. It really enhanced how connected I felt to the story.
A very pretty, contained work of art.
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Ohhh this one was very dear.
???The Times I Knew I Was Gay??? by Eleanor Crewes tells??? well, kind of what it says on the tin. It gives us Ellie???s journey (so far) as she comes out, comes of age, becomes. It???s about how a struggle with one thing in yourself can be the insidious seed for more struggles with yourself. How difficult a place to be your own headspace is if you???re so vehemently denying something you don???t even know what you???re denying.
I found this really heartwarming. Heart wrenching as well at parts. There???s a huge focus on process, and needing to process. At some point - after having come out to her friends once already - she???s turning the thought over again in her mind, time and time again, and she says, ???It wasn???t such an epiphany as last time ... it was more like small moments of clarity. Like I had to test the words, allow them to settle inside me before speaking them aloud to anyone.??? As someone who needs about a week to process any minor decision this is an extremely recognisable feeling. I especially also really like the focus on transitional places in this graphic memoir about change - this particular moments on the London Underground.
I really liked how we get both the narrator Ellie and the narrated Ellie???s thoughts - we see how they differ, and how she reflects on herself at the time. It???s one of the thing that makes autographies such as this very appealing to me, the aspect of direct revisiting through the author???s own art. Ellie switches to her present-day self at significant moments, rethinking her own thoughts out loud (or, on page), taking us with her in her thought processes as they develop and have developed.
Overall I think this is an accomplished, well narrated and wonderfully drawn, but most of all a hopeful book.
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
???In??? is about detachment. Nick walks through life, past millennial-y named coffee/tea/lifestyle shops feeling??? or rather, not feeling at all. He has a sister who, when he asks her how she is, tells him not to bother. A mother who he calls to help with leaks. Seemingly meaningful relationships of any sort. I know ??? so far this has the incredible potential of being an extremely self-indulgent story about an emotionally constipated 20-something-year-old where boy who goes through life not understanding why no one likes him. But then... it???s not that. At all.
One of ???In??????s strong points is the fact that it doesn???t try to hang its main character???s issues on anything. Considering he???s supposed to be a millennial, the potential for making social media and phone-to-hand connection the Big Bad seems imminent. But it???s not. Nick longs for solitude. No, that???s not entirely true. He longs to be unobserved. To feel without necessarily having that feeling be seen and approved by others. He uses an example from his childhood, the experience of being in a water park and going through the tunnels alone. He feels great there, feels the desire to share that feeling with his friends. And as soon as they???re there, it???s not the same anymore.
A ripple effect, then, and Nick is 20-something and doesn???t know how to share anymore, because what will that lead to? What???s that invisible barrier that stops him from talking to family, and to anyone, really? For us as readers the barrier is manifested literally, each frame bordered by a dark, solid line. That is, until Nick - fragmentarily - starts to open up, and the lines of not only the border, but also his own person start to blur, and we as readers start to actually learn more about him and his family. And he/we learn(s) that even if you try, it still might not be easy. In a conversation I think most children will have, whether internally or in real life, as they grow up and learn to start to see their parents, Nick says to his mother, ???I???m trying to talk about you.??? She says, ???You weren???t asking about me.??? He says he was, and she says, ???I???m not just who I am to you, Nick.??? And his world opens up.
There are stories that work when they are made into graphic novels. Then there are stories that are made to be told as graphic novels. This is definitely the latter. The art style, the use of framing and colour, the layout are all meaningful and intentional at every turn of the page. The feeling of emptiness and then space that are created when Nick shifts between not-feeling and feeling become tangible. I love graphic novels that are this purposeful.
And on top of that this book is just really funny. The coffee shop jokes got me every time. It teased millennial culture without being an asshole about the things that matter. I laughed out loud multiple times. A bit cheeky, a bit tongue-in-cheek. It really worked for me.
I think the concept as a whole could???ve been driven further, deeper. I???d maybe have liked it to hollow me out a tad more than it did. But it was really good nonetheless. Not to go full circle here, but now that I think about it, maybe ???In??? isn???t about detachment. It???s about what happens when that detachment ends (because something does).
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
3.5!
16-year-old Mary Shelley (yes, great great etc granddaughter of) feels the pressure of living up to her ancestors??? legacies. Problem: she has no idea what to do with her life. That is, until she figures out she???s able to resurrect dead creatures. Now, she still doesn???t know what to do with her life but she???s suddenly overrun by a range of ghosts, dead guys with a missing foot and harpies with ancient eggs and dental problems that all want her help.
Someone described Mary to me as the kind of novel that when you read it, you slightly feel as if you???re on drugs. 50 pages in I thought, ???Well, it???s an interesting concept and fun in execution but on drugs? Nah.??? 10 pages later I suddenly had an ???Aha??? moment (this was around the time the harpy with human tooth issues made an appearance. We???re not in the business of calling women harpies here, by the way. This is a literal actual harpy). Let???s say this though - they???re not bad drugs, Brent. Mary is great fun - both the book and the character. When previously mentioned harpy, named Polly, shows up in Mary???s treehouse, Mary self-awarely states, ???I don???t want you here, and I???m 16. In a game of stubbornness you???re no match for me.??? Who is a match for her? Oh, the giant rodent with laser eyes that comes to visit her, insisting he???s ???a marsupial??? and ???closer to a kangaroo???.
That also brings us to a couple of... issues? There???s a lot going on in 146 pages. Maybe a little too much. Definitely a little too much to explain. I???m left with questions about when this story is supposed to be set because Adam says he???s 200 years old and to prove that he makes Grey???s Anatomy references? Sir that proves that you have been around for the past 10 years. The rest of the world looks vaguely 2010-2020-esque. And that???s just a small one. I have a whole bunch more worldbuilding questions that leave me feeling... a little unsatisfied by the end of the book. Maybe it???s pacing, partly. There???s so much happening so fast that all decisions and developments happen really fast as well, and I think a little too much without explanation for my tastes.
Again - great fun, though! Absolutely a delightful, light, funny graphic novel. Would recommend it for any teen who like a bit of spookiness, some monsters, and a whole lot of sass.
I received a free ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
