Give Yourself Away

The first thing I did after reading this novel was look up Polunin's performance to Take Me To Church and it was beautiful.

At first I was confused about what was happening in the novel, but I soon started to understand. I am not expecting smooth sailing with Barbara Elsborg's novels, I know I'm going to get angst and pain and terrible, but oh my! I hurt for Caleb. Every single person around him was a knob. Awful people, all of them, and he deserved so, so much better, a whole world worth of better. It goes without saying I disliked Mike and I was not sorry for what he had coming at him, but I also disliked Victor and Jamie. They were at no point Caleb's friends and that's a sin.

March on the other hand had it better in the friends department, with the guys from RNLI—which is a very real and amazing service—and with Andy for whom I was very grateful for being an actual good friend. I wanted to hug him.

Caleb hides his past, there are things he doesn't talk about (and here enter the warnings in the synopsis), but something about March makes him want to open up and tell his story for the first time. Although there were some hiccups on the way, March was pretty great, he was patient and considerate and wholeheartedly there for Caleb. Offering his support, a hug, or just simply being there when Caleb needed him. I was glad to discover he was a fast learner and very honest with himself. That honesty saved them both a lot of heartache (like any more would have been necessary).

Caleb and March embarked on a journey with each other. They had to deal with their past, with the things they didn't want to talk about, or that pushed them into a closet, and also learn how be with each other, how this whole relationship thing works and what they wanted from each other. Well, one of these things was the really easy one, the others needed a bit of work. In the end they both did amazing progress and I am so happy about that.

Now, about those warnings. If I could describe Barbara Elsborg's novels by only one word, that would be dark. If you are easily triggered or if you just don't like the main characters suffering, I do not recommend her novels, but if you are okay with that, go for it. As dark as they are, Barbara Elsborg manages to also bring out some light, the purpose is not to torture everyone, but to show their journey, to give hope, to write characters who strive despite all odds. I think this is why I like her novels so much.