Kill the Boy Band

This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
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It's not every day you get to be alone with a member of the most popular boy band ever.

Wait. Let me rephrase that.

It's not every day you get to be alone with the biggest flop in the most popular boy band ever while he is blindfolded and bound to a hotel armchair.

So You Think the British Don't Have Talent?

and

Somehow I knew we were going to meet The Ruperts. I didn't know yet if I would cry or scream or faint. And I know that sounds like the reaction you'd have while getting mugged or something, but getting mugged and meeting your idols was basically the same thing: a moment of pure hysteria where you lose our mind and all control. The Ruperts could do that to a person. They could do it to me. And I couldn't care less.

ugh I WANTED TO LIKE THIS BOOK



I'm excited about the trend of YA books about fandom! Fandom is an important part of the lives of many teens and it's cool for it to be reflected in the literature they're reading! But this is.... not.... that?? IDK?

It's about 4 teens who are united in their love of a band called The Ruperts, who are basically a One Direction-y thing, born from a British reality TV competition and put together because they are all named Rupert.

I can't decide how satirical this book is supposed to be and I don't think it can decide either? Because on one hand, the Ruperts are all pretty ridiculous, and so are the Strepurs (fans of the Ruperts–it's Ruperts spelled backwards). But also, our narrator, whose real name I don't think we ever actually know? (she keeps introducing herself as different characters from 80s movies), gives some pretty decent little speeches about how fandom brings people together and how fun it is to be a fan of something even though you know it's silly. And these speeches seem like they are sort of the ~moral~ of the book and not satire.

anyway so these 4 girls would normally not be friends because they are soo opposites but they all love the Ruperts so they got a room together at the hotel where the Ruperts are staying so they can stalk the Ruperts. The girls are:
- ??? narrator, loves 80s movies (btw usually I am annoyed when YA stuff is 80s-obsessed because like I am onto you authors, I also was born in the 80s but today's teens barely give a shit about the 80s, but in this case it was like the least worst thing about this book so w/e)
- Erin, narrator's best friend, super hot and popular, mean girl
- Apple, VERY RICH, adopted Chinese girl, fat, like hilariously fat, hahahah she's fat
- Isobel, Latina, angry, runs a popular gossip site

each of the 4 has a different favorite Rupert obviously

anyway so Apple sees her fave Rupert (Rupert P.) at the ice machine and excitedly tackles him with lust, but because she's sooo fat (she weighs 254 pounds) she tackles him to the ground and knocks him unconscious and drags him back to their hotel roomthey tie him up and blindfold him and stuff, and they go through his phone and discover that he is SECRETLY GAY which Apple is upset about because she is obsessed with him, anyway then they get his hotel room key and go through the Ruperts' roomwhen they come back Rupert P is DEADthe girls all kind of suspect each otherI was actually interested in the mystery aspect of it and it kept me turning pages to find out what happened, but overall this is a mess and it seems really unnecessarily fat shamey toward Apple, and also slutshamey (while also... lampshading it and having a little discussion about how Erin doesn't trust ?? because she might slutshame her), and also sort of.... blase about mental illness and ???'s hallucinations and the fact that she was in a mental institution for some time??? bLEHoh also it keeps talking about how Erin and Isobel have gotten ~super close~ and want to ~share a bed~ and I figured their secret was that they're dating, but apparently... not? ugh whatever

anyway, disappointing, there are some funny lines and ideas in here but overall it feels like it's mainly punching down... at teenage girls... especially fat ones... so.... not great.

and sadly I do think this would appeal to a lot of teenage girls, especially ones who are in boy band fandoms OR ones who are in other types of fandoms and think boy bands are silly... but then to read this and see the teen girls so poorly represented is just like :///////