Maschenka

Nabokov's first novel, and, as he says in the introduction, a purging of himself and his own experiences so that he could get on with writing other things. I identified with Ganin's feeling of depression as a result of having no desire. The scenes in the boarding house are wonderful as are the passages inside Ganin's head. Overall it's a tight book and a quick read.

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‰ЫПHe spent about an hour drinking coffee, staring at a picture window and watching the passers-by. Back in his room he tried to read, but he found the contents of his book so alien and inappropriate that he abandoned it in the middle of a subordinate clause. He was in the kind of mood that he called ‰Ычdispersion of the will.‰ЫЄ He sat motionless at his table unable to decide what to do: to shift the position of his body, to get up and wash his hands, or to open the window, outside which the bleak day was fading into twilight. It was a dreadful, agonizing state rather like that dull sense of unease when we wake up but at first cannot open our eyelids, as though they were stuck together for good. Ganin felt that the murky twilight which was gradually seeping into the room was also slowly penetrating his body, transforming his blood into fog, and that he was powerless to stop the spell that was being cast on him by the twilight.

‰ЫПHe was powerless because he had no precise desire, and this tortured him because he was vainly seeking something to desire. He could not even make himself stretch out his hand to switch on the light. The simple transition from intention to action seemed an unimaginable miracle. Nothing relieved his depression, his thoughts slithered aimlessly, his heartbeat was faint, his underclothes stuck unpleasantly to his body.‰Ыќ