Spare the Rod

After letting the dust settle in my brain ... This book straddles two worlds or genres. One is a BDSM romance between a sadist & a masochist and the other is a tract on our current, toxic, sociopolitical climate, particularly as pertains to the echo chamber of Social Media. The balance is 30/70 romance to social commentary which ended up working for me but I can see how it'd be unsatisfactory to the pure romance reader. Lastly reading this series in order is definitely a plus/must.I went into this story with some trepidation because, though I don't ever intentionally hate read, Doms, particularly sadists, are hard for me to love and going by the previous books, I knew Gray was going to test me. In the end he turned out to be exactly who I thought he'd be which was satisfying and annoying at once. Avery is your average, rudderless twenty-five year old, flitting from one thing to another. When his parents won't put up with him anymore Gray ends up taking him in. Gray does so as a favor to his mother's colleague but he's also getting a live-in masochist on who to rain down his sadism. Win. Win. Right? Hmmm ... Avery is who he is, one of the millions on one side or another of the latest Twitter drama, militantly sure of being in the right, deaf & blind to other points of view, and sometimes an active participant in trolling/canceling/harassing those considered to be wrong. Gray grew up in a family where arguing every side of an issue is done for sport. Another name for this book could be The Education of Avery Barron. Generally I liked it but there's an imbalance in the romance that bugged me along with the continued dynamics of Doms & subs from the previous books. At first Gray is thrilled to have a willing sub to use however he pleases and Avery is happy to have a place to live, get all the attention (sexual) he seeks, play videos, and fight for social justice from the comfort of his sofa. Inevitably cohabitation reveals the roommates to each other, the sex stops, and Avery's residency at Gray's is hanging by a thread. Things come to a head and Avery turns a corner. Avery does a fair amount self examination, makes new friends, loses others, revisits old joys and in short changes himself. His transformation isn't easy, he's forced to lay himself bare not just to others but to himself, which can oft times be harder. I'm happy for him. Maturing and evolving is something to aspire to. That he does so seeking the approval of Gray Andino just proves that good things can come from the most unexpected corners. Gray isn't a bad guy but I'm not sure we'd ever be friends. What does he bring to the table besides sadism? Does he deserve Avery? He's still coveting Taylor, fondling him whenever he gets a chance. This is excused/condoned as being gay men in the BDSM lifestyle and just generally not adhering heteronormative relationship strictures. I'm fine with that and very much appreciate that the author doesn't sugarcoat them to appease romancelandia. My problem, as far as Taylor, is that it's been established that Taylor uses sex to mask or put a band-aid on the gaping hole of his mental/emotional problems. Secondly Gray's been secretly pining for one of best friends. Whaaat? While Avery turns himself inside out to appeal to him Gray only notices when his friends point it out. Other than questioning EVERYTHING, which I can applaud, it's never clear WHAT Gray stands for. Next there's the group poker parties in one of which Avery has to atone for past sins & pass an initiation. It sat heavy with me. For one I felt that Avery was with this group because they were the friends of the guy who took him in, not friends he would've chosen for himself. The random use of each others subs always feels a bit icky: Warren stays apart clearly no longer comfortable with it; Taylor confessed to River that he never considered them friends (the Doms in the group) because of the expectations of sex (this was in the previous book). How sad is that? River tries to explain things to Avery, how choosing to obey and following orders is different because the sub retains the power and it's a gift from the sub to allow the Dom to believe himself in control “It's not just choosing to obey. It's chosing him, above all else.” This led my brain down a maze of thoughts too long to ponder here. Finally there's Gray the sadist who supposedly comes to love Avery. Perhaps he does, after discarding or being disappointed in other expectations, after Avery transforms himself and is accepted by the sisterhood, after a few bad turns in his own life. To me it seemed a conditional love, the opposite of Warren's love for Taylor, contingent on Avery thinking like Gray and his friends, and being his willing victim. Examples:“His restless, raging brain was quiet, finally silenced by the thrill of having this small, helpless person at his mercy.”“Gray's stil-damp hair was stiff and frozen by the time he stepped through his front door. He wanted to grab a beer and spend half an hour venting about how unfair it felt. Or maybe he'd just grab a crop and take it all out on Avery's back.Anyway, despite this long ass gripe I liked this. I like it because of the flawed and complicated MC. Because they reflect RL. My inner sadist likes that Gray got his comeuppance, though I suspect that's what brought him to Jesus or rather realizing what he had in Avery. Maybe the author could've gone another route, making the social commentary aspect shorter but still getting her point across. Maybe one day I'll love Doms. Miracles happen. Meanwhile [a:John Solo 7935034 John Solo https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] continues to deliver in spades.