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Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Chair of The Elders, and Chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, along with his daughter, the Reverend Mpho Tutu, offer a manual on the art of forgiveness—helping us to realize that we are all capable of healing and transformation. Tutu's role as the Chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission taught him much about forgiveness. If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.
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My girlfriend and I are getting ready to get married so naturally, I looked up a list of books about marriage to read. This came up as one of them.
It was very insightful. There was a bit of religiousness sprinkled in but I think more so the book had a tone of general spiritualness which I was more open to.
This book definitely gave me a better understanding of how a mindset governed by forgiveness would be beneficial. It also laid out pretty concrete guidelines, practices, and methods to work towards forgiveness in relationships, with other people or with your self.
I would highly recommend this book if you are feeling guilt, shame or conversely if you have been harmed by others. Or if you are like me and just want a better toolset before you embark on a big step, relationship-wise in your life.