We Need to Talk About Kevin

Well written and well structured, but so hateful. The beginning to middle is a challenging read because the writing is so dense and detailed and Eva, the narrator of the story, is hard to like, although occasionally she is easy to understand.

Eva is a neurotic Manhattanite, critical of others with no self awareness of how she resembles the things she hates (hypocritical), and self involved. She doesn't like kids but decides having a baby is the right next step in her emotional connection to her husband Franklin. When she has her son Kevin, she's disappointed that she doesn't like him and feels she was entitled to a more lovable baby.

One recurring theme of the book is a hatred of America and how spoiled we are, and criticism of of culture that creates and sensationalizes mass-murdering teens but also of the various solutions from the schools, including treating every stray word, every poem, every form of self-expression that seems dark as a “sign” and expelling the kids (not to mention, as Kevin points out, giving them ideas). Interesting to me it's not a gun that Kevin uses, so this isn't an anti-gun message. That would be too easy I suppose. There's also the idea that modern people don't DO anything, just sit back and watch the few people who do really terrible things. Mass murderer teen uses this to give his life meaning.

“On April 8, 1999, I jumped into the screen, I switched to watchee. Ever since, I've known what my life is about. I give good story. It may have been kinda gory, but admit it, you all loved it. You ate it up.”

There's also a hatred of women/motherhood. Eva writes about herself (the book is done as a series of letters) as someone who resented everything she had to give up to have a baby: her body, her career as a travel writer, her close relationship to her husband.

I don't think we blame her for what Kevin did in the sense of disliking her child or being a bad mother. I did have questions, however.. Never does she take the kid to the pediatrician or suggest a child therapist even when she observes things he does that would hint at serious problems. The resistance to potty training, lack of curiosity or interest in playing when Kevin was a toddler would be enough. Kevin never lets her see him eat, never wants her to know he's learning anything. He denies her any pleasure of parenting and by Eva's description, seems smart enough to be aware of this even pre-K. Her husband, on the other hand, sees a perfect healthy happy little boy and Eva suggests Kevin manipulates his father to keep believing this way by putting on a “Gee Dad, this is great!” attitude in his presence.

Is Eva so under the thumb of her husband? It doesn't seem to be the case, she doesn't seem that submissive, Franklin doesn't seem that domineering. He sees Kevin as a concept of a son but Eva sees his unique personality. Yes, she does nothing about it.

Another interesting theme is that of people who “don't know what life is for.” Eva sees this in her husband's parents who collect material goods but don't seem to appreciate music, art, real living. They just spend their money and fill their time. This connects to the hatred of American consumerism and culture as well. Kevin enjoys nothing, doesn't want anyone else to enjoy anything, and when he goes on his killing spree, targets other students who display a passion for something.

This is also part of Kevin's relationship with Eva. There is power in not approving of or liking anything, holding yourself aloof and being the one everyone wants to impress or please. It goes both ways between them, and Kevin admits that Eva was his “audience” for the things he did, since she was the one person who could see him clearly.

This one was an intense experience, intellectually and emotionally. It got better about half way through, once Eva became less obsessed with herself.